Saturday, June 15, 2013

Re: [IAC#RG] PRESS RELEASE­­: publication by India Against Corruption

The misogyny comes through when phrases like 'Are men expendable?' pop up. Nobody should be expendable. The piece requires some further pruning. However, in this particular case, I do not think abetment is appropriate. Abetment is to approve, encourage and help or support a plan of action. Did Suraj Pancholi want her to or in any way encourage her to commit suicide? Physical assault is a relatively minor offence in terms of punishment and is covered under a different Section of the IPC for which he should be punished if found guilty. If he did not get her to seek help, then he was negligent or uncaring like a lot of other men who want to get out of a relationship. Pavan Nair

On Fri, Jun 14, 2013 at 3:30 PM, Vidyut Kale <> wrote:
I find SIFF to be an extremely misogynist organization doing little for the rights of men and more of objection to any protection of women. For example, SIFF does zero about male on male abuse. Either sexual or otherwise. Within family or without.

In this latest episode, the idea that women threaten men as some kind of controlling gimmick is an extreme generalization. People prone to suicide are known to speak about it aloud. For example, in this case they are objecting to, Pancholi has confessed to assault on Jiah Khan. They were in a long term relationship and he was hardly unaware of previous attempt to suicide. What is the responsibility of a partner of a suicidal person? Is it the sole responsibility of the mother as SIFF appears to present? How is physical assault ignored so blatantly?

SIFF promotes several lies.

Some more from this article itself are that abatement to suicide is punishable only in India. This is bullshit. Provoking suicide is punishable almost worldwide - particularly when accompanied (which Pancholi himself has confessed to). Forget laws and such - let us talk of two high profile cases. The first the nurse to Kate Middleton who got pranked b the Australiam radio hosts and committed suicide. This is UK. The second is Dharun Ravi convicted for provoking the suicide of Clementi. This is US. Naming these, because with Indian connections, they may be easier to remember.

SIFF likes to present a false association between high rates of suicide between married men and abuse, when in fact, there is no proven corelation. For example, self-employed men are a far larger percentage of suicides than married men.

SIFF likes to focus on the idea that both men and women are abused without looking at the corresponding fact that in the abuse of both men and women, men are majority of the abusers. Women are NOT "equally" abusers as SIFF likes to present.

SIFF has been known to fake information, claims and work to oppose protection of women rather than protecting men as it superficially claims.

Finally, Jiah Khan did not merely threaten Pancholi with suicide, she accused him of assault - something he confesses to. She accuses him of ditching her after promises of marriage - something Pancholi's mom herself has implied to media. Lastly, a threat isn't a form of manipulation if the action warned about actually happens. Jiah Khan is dead.

And so on. There are several articles debunking this crap. The basic method is to look at the exception and call it the norm. It is almost like saying Sikhs are evil because a few must have attacked the others in 1984, while wholly ignoring the massacre itself.

This is not to say that there isn't misuse of laws or that women don't misuse rights or that men don't suffer. However, it is not logical or helpful to put blanket blame on women as being malicious by default. For example, this letter itself speaks of threats of suicide by women to helpless men - in the title itself, while going on to treat a man's suicide as genuine harassment - a view that is held against the credibility women, while it is cops who did not file the case - unknown gender, usually male. Particularly since our population ratio, crime statistics are completely opposite of this claim. The idea that dead, injured, and violated women are unimportant gets promoted when you have an organization that questions the credibility of most crime stats without ANY factual basis whatsoever.

I forget the link. This mythical helpline of theirs gets 98% calls related with men being abused, which how an article by this bunch claims 98% men are abused. I suppose if 98% people walking into a jeweller's shop buy jewellery, it is safe to say all Indians buy lakhs worth jewellery each, daily. Manufactured stats at its finest.

I object to this nonsense and highly misogynist propaganda given a platform and credibility on IAC. Either this crap is rejected, or I exit. Non negotiable. My presence holds a certain credibility on human rights related views. I refuse to grant it to a platform that openly promotes an organization working against women.


On Fri, Jun 14, 2013 at 2:41 PM, Sarbajit Roy <> wrote:
Dear IAC participants,

Swaup Sarkar's email to me, below, encapsulates the problem, ordinary people or groups with extra-ordinary views have in being heard in a controlled information society.

An information society where editorial content is openly negotiated  for advertising revenue (Zee TV and Naveen Jindal), or where semi-literate persons wielding power arbitrarily (Wikipedia refusing to acknowledge P Kalyanasundaram simply because his "truth" and Jimbo Wales's don't mesh).

When somebody approached me about 10 days back because he was harassed by a particularly abusive blogger (whose father incidentally is our valued contributor on spirituality and misgovernance) and a paid chamcha for Baba Ramdev, I advised the individual to use "open source cloud technology" to correct the information imbalance. Clouding works: for eg. Do a google search for "Baba Ramdev Coward" or "Sanjeev Sabhlok ass" to confirm that these links are #1 (or at least top 5) on Google.

So members can shortly start sending IAC their UNIQUE Press Releases and articles on politics, politicians, corruption, governance, events etc. with the IAC GUARANTEE that IAC will publish it if it meets IAC's standards (which we will inform members shortly).

PS: Save India Family Foundation's Press Release has been uploaded (after cleaning it up), but our sites are not operational (as yet) for public view.


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Swarup Sarkar <>
Date: Fri, Jun 14, 2013 at 12:19 PM
Subject: PRESS RELEASE­­:Just like SurajPancholi, thousands of helpless men get victimized with threats of Suicide from wives and girlfriends every year.
To: letters <>

PRESS RELEASE­­:Just like SurajPancholi, thousands of helpless men get victimized with threats of Suicide from wives and girlfriends every year.

Based on media reports and alleged suicide note of Jiah Khan, 22-year old SurajPancholi was arrested and sent to jail for committing the crime of abatement to suicide. We have to understand that such laws do not exist in other countries in the world. Is suicide a solution to break-ups or separation? Jiah Khan attempted suicide 8 months ago and nothing was done to ensure that she does not repeat it. It is absurd to assume that all human relations will remain everlasting in this age of modernity.Finally, women are portrayed as victims, and men as abusers.

SurajPancholi is no alone. Thousands of men across India call SIFF helplines every week. Half of them have faced threats of suicide from their wives from time to time, if they do not meet her unreasonable demands. 

These men are scared. These abusive wives refuse to come to a counselor or a psychiatrist. When these young men plead to the parents of women abouttheir suicidal nature, parents do not take it seriously. These men cannot run away from home or file for divorce, fearing that this may prompt her to commit suicide. They suffer mental and physical abuse from possessive, controlling and suspicious wives. In fact, the society laughs at them as "Harassed Husbands" rather than helping the man and making arrangements for counseling of such women. Now, this phenomenon is getting extended to relationships before marriage as well. Being obsessively possessive and controlling is not a sign of love.

In short, India is sitting on a ticking time bomb as the society refuses to recognize the issue of threats of suicide inside marriages or in relationships. The society just behaves as if such incidents are rare or wishes that this problem will go away on its own. Then, it recommends revenge on the man if the woman commits suicide. Home Ministry (NCRB) data says, 24% of all suicides in India are due to Family Reasons and 3.4% due to failed love affairs.

Here are concerns of SIFF around this case:

1.      There are no checks and balances in this abetment to suicide law. SurajPancholi did not point gun at the head of Jiah Khan to force her commit suicide. Breaking-up with a girlfriend or being commitment-phobic is not a crime. As reported, Suraj did everything he could so that Jiah Khan can get some psychiatrist help, after she attempted suicide 8 months ago. One has to wonder, why Jiah's mother did not get her to a psychiatrist.

2.      This abetment to suicide law is very selectively applied by police. When a husband commits suicide blaming torture by wife and in-laws, the police refuse to arrest the woman and her parents. However, if a wife commits suicide, the husband and in-laws go to prison for 6 months to 2 years and are presumed guilty until proven innocent. Is the life of a man cheap? Males are the disposable gender.

3.      This abetment to suicide law and the social attitudes around it actually encourage suicides, by taking away the responsibility from a person to preserve his or her own life.

4.      Many possessive women are already abusing their husbands and boyfriends and threatening suicide, if he stands his ground and defends his dignity. Arrest of SurajPancholi will only increase such incidents rapidly. A man is completely helpless here.

5.      Jiah Khan attempted suicide 8 months back. It is reported that SurajPancholi was extremely concerned about her life after that incident and he called her mother to India and he even spoke to her for taking Jiah Khan to a psychiatrist. What more can a man do? He is helpless beyond a certain point, when a woman is obsessive and suicidal?

6.      Did Jiah Khan's mother Rabiya Amin take her to a psychiatrist or counselor, even after knowing about her attempt to commit suicide? As a mother, is not it her responsibility to ensure that her daughter handles stress and relationship troubles with help from mental health professionals?

7.      SurajPancholi and many men are victimized as the hatred against men or misandry in general is fueled by mass hysteria after incidents of rape. SIFF demands an end to large scale gender hate, stereotyping and the attitude to judge men harshly. If hate cannot solve communal or religious problems, then why it is assumed that blaming men and spreading hate against men will solve crimes against women?

8.      If a young man commits suicide and he leaves a suicide note, blaming his girlfriend for hurting him, cheating on him and abusing him, will the society show same fervor in demanding arrest of the girl involved? If not, then why men are victimized for the decision for a woman to commit suicide for break up?

Threat of suicide by man is actually defined as domestic violence under Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA), which is applicable to both marriages and live-in relationships. A woman can get a restraining order from a court against husband and boyfriend if they threaten suicide. However, the society and the women's organizations force Government to refuse to protect men from such forms of domestic violence. If they had, then SurajPancholi would have got a restraining order and would have legally forced Jiah Khan to get psychiatric help.

It's a slap on the face of Bollywood

Finally, Bollywood itself has indulged in spreading large scale hatred against men in recent times, with anti-male stereotyping without looking at issue in a more academic and meaningful manner. Many Bollywood actors are full of misandry. Now, one among them has committed suicide and a budding actor is in prison. It's a slap on Bollywood's face and its shows how disconnected Bollywood is from group realities in spite of its false claims to transform the society.

Many actors like Shah Rukh Khan to Amitabh Bacchan have publicly proclaimed, "I am ashamed of being a man". Shaming all men for the crimes of a few is nothing but anti-male hate or misandry. If misogyny is not healthy for the society, then how can misandry create a better society? We hope, Bollywood actor realize that in this grave hour.

In this particular case (below), a husband committed suicide blaming torture by wife and in-laws. The police did not arrest the wife and in-law even after hundreds of phone calls are made to Mumbai police by SIFF members. If the law of abetment to suicide is to save people from suicide, should not it be applied equally to both genders? Or is men's life cheaper in Indian society?

SFF Demands that:

1.      Government must bring checks and balances to all laws related to suicide, like abetment to suicide and dowry deaths.

2.      Government must make domestic violence law gender neutral and protect men from wives and girlfriends, who threaten suicide every now and then.

3.      Suicidal women must be forced to undergo counseling and treatment.

4.      All laws must be made gender neutral and both genders must be treated in a fair manner.

5.      The society must take steps to curb misandry. It is challenging, because it is too easy to blame and stereotype all men citing incidents of rape or other crimes against women. Such misandry will vitiate gender relations.

6.      It must be ensured that, men's rights to liberty, dignity and basic human rights are not snatched away in the name of empowering women.

According to National Crime Records Bureau, about 20,000 men and about 12, 000 women committed suicide in 2011 for "Family Reasons" alone.

From Save Indian Family Foundation
Call: 0-9008302822, 0-9632812802

(Crime Is Crime. Punishment should be irrespective of gender, religion and caste. Let us be honest and fight for truth)

Post: ""
Exit: ""
Quit: ""

Twitter: @Vidyut
Phone: Allergic
Telephone: Forget it.
Mobile phone: Forgot

Post: ""
Exit: ""
Quit: ""

No comments:

Post a Comment